YFriday, May 30, 2008' 9:08 PM
hi humans.
yesterday was torturing.
my menses making me pain like hell.
ok, i admit, yesterday i drank 5 cups of cold syrup...
but then where got pain until like that one.-.-
yesterday night suddenly felt the pain,
then wanted to go kitchen to take pain killers.
but pain until my legs go jelly and can't stand up.
so i was there like a dumb, kneeling on the kitchen floor.
mum wasnt at home, then bro eyes completely glued to his computer.-.-
the pain was unbearable, i keep calling bro but he didnt hear...=.=
*computer computer, everyday computer only.>.<*i was like thinking, i die here also nobody know...
i sat on the floor for about 15mins? hugging my stomach.
at last my deaf bro finally came to the kitchen to get a drink and noticed me.=.=
then asked him to help me make hot water.
my hands were like jelly until like jelly fish lo.=.=
bro gave me that glass of hot water but i take aready my whole hand jellied then the whole cup fell on to the floor and shattered into pieces.
the hot water spill on to me.
i didn't do anything, the water was just warm lurs.
and just stayed still on the spot. bro piggybacked me to my room and cleared the mess.
*thks....*
teared when i'm in the room, pain like hell and thinking that i'm damn suay. T.T
suddenly so angry with mum...
after divorcing, that means she can go anywhere she wants and just leave her two kids at home?
i'm 14 already but that doesn't mean i don't need a mother at home.
sometimes i just think mum is very selfish.
she never think of me and bro's feelings and just divorce dad..
hais. thats my fate, i have to accept it no matter what.
today morning i didnt talk to mum,
she see me like that she gave me 80 bucks and tell me to buy my own things.
i was angry and teared again.
i told her, don't think stuffing money to me can make me happy.
money cannot buy everything,
money cannot buy the happiness i want,
money cannot buy my daddy back home.
mum just went slient and didn't say anything.
after that didn't talk to mum,
later got tuition, hope someone will cheer me up kays... :(
jiamin jie told me i'm not that cheerful and high little girl anymore,
HAHA, only she knows i smile just for the sake of smiling. :'(
*jie, i know you want the old me, but sorry...*AND, those who have both your parents living with you happily, better cherish, you are much much more luckier than me. :(
ending here, take care people.
tata.........
Kim Jae Joong